The dentist gave me a balloon, a sticker and a new toothbrush. Amazing!
Guess who went to his first dentist appointment today and had NO cavities? Well, your guess is as good as mine because it certainly wasn't one of my children. In all honesty, Kai did go to the dentist today and amazingly, he was a good little boy. Unfortunately though, he did have a big stinking cavity in one of his molars. Who wants a perfect kid anyway? That would make life so boring. And while we're on the topic of flawed kids (who match their flawed mother so perfectly), I thought I'd let you in on what Kai's teacher wrote on his take-home sheet yesterday. "Kai has been wetting his pants and thinks it is funny. He also had to go to time out today for not keeping his hands to himself and disobeying the teacher. He smiled and laughed when he got into trouble. Especially when we told him he had to do what the teacher said." Wow! Could they possibly be talking about MY little angel? I don't think so. Maybe if I just bury my head in the sand and pretend it was another (bigger, meaner) kid they were talking about, it will magically go away. I'm laughing today but yesterday I was quite ticked at the toddler (yes, Kai's "the toddler" when he's in trouble.) He had several privileges taken away and we talked about his disobedience at length. I know that taking privileges away from a 3 year old is a stretch, but it was either that or beat him with a stick. I think I made the better choice. I'll let you know how preschool goes next week and of course, if you have any great parenting tricks, leave me a comment (particularly about the smiling when getting into trouble. That absolutely drives me crazy.) At this point, I'm up for trying just about anything.
Disclaimer (for all you social worker/DHR types): No, I don't really beat my children. It's just that humor goes a long way to make our crazy lives a little more bearable sometimes!
3 comments:
sadly i am one of those smilers. i have always (and still do) smiled when i got in trouble or if somethigng is really sad. i believe it is a nervous thing. it drives my husband crazy!! but when i'm smiling, i'm not trying to be funny!
unfortunately, my oldest son has the same nervous problem. i don't know how to get him to stop...i haven't figured out to either!
My brother was always like that too. My mother wasn't serious enough about reprimanding him to mind too much; she just made some remark like, "Oh, you think it's funny, huh? Hmph, go to your room anyway; you can laugh in there." But my father just got angrier and angrier, until finally he was so angry, I started to cry. Haha, I was my brother's best defense, even when I wasn't involved!
My brother broke his ankle playing soccer when he was 8. He laughed the whole time. The teacher yelled at him to get up and walk, and he just kept laughing. Finally somebody thought to call the ambulance. Hopefully Kai's habit of smiling isn't THAT extreme.
I would suggest reading Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn. He urges against time outs, and for time ins. I use time ins. I find that if a child is seeking attention (even negative) you should give them attention. I think this is especially important with adopted children.
I would talk with him about the type of person he wants to be. Does he want to be a mean person?
I really try to instill my kids that they are creating themselves. We are Christians so we talk about showing the love of Christ to others.
I also have independent kids and often give them a choice. This might be a better tool to get him to act right. Such as, "You can stop hitting and continue to play with the blocks, or you can sit with me and read a book."
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