Accidently Expecting

People ask questions about Kai's adoption every day. They are curious and well-meaning. What they don't seem to understand is that the adoption process is long and tedious. Having two biological children already, I can honestly say that adoption is twenty times harder than childbirth. Now, if you're one of those "I was in labor for 36 hours and I almost died" sort of girls, I apologize. The births of my children were easy, uneventful, and fairly quick. On the other hand, our adoption journey has been excruciatingly long and difficult!

An adoptive mother that I know through cyper-space once wrote about how one could become accidentally expecting (through adoption, not pregnancy.) It went something like this:

Her: "Honey, sit down. I need to tell you something."

Him: "Sure, Sweetheart. You can tell me anything."

Her: "We're expecting a baby!"

Him: "Honey, how did this happen? I thought we were being so careful."

Her: "Well, I accidentally googled adoption when I tripped and fell on the computer and it pulled up the site of a great adoption agency."

Him: "O.k. We can handle this. It's not so bad."

Her: "Wait, there's more... After I saw the website I sent off for more information."

Him: "And?"

Her: "When it came in the mail, I filled out a seven page application and sent in a few hundred dollars."

Him: "And that's it? I thought it would be harder to adopt."

Her: "It is. After that I cleaned the house for a good two weeks so a social worker could come and inspect our lives. She brought over loads of paperwork that would only fit in an 18ft moving van. She said it was the beginning of the 'paperchase'. But I worked hard and wrote all of the essays, filled out all of the papers. I went to 20 hours of adoption parenting classes. I had to have my fingerprints taken and get state and FBI criminal clearances. I had all the papers notarized, certified, and authenticated in Washington, D.C. by Condaleeza Rice. I'm surprised you haven't noticed that I took out a second mortgage on the house to pay all of the bills."

Him: "Accidents happen, Sweetheart. I'm just glad that you and the baby are o.k. When should we be expecting our bundle of joy?"

Her: "Sometime in 2010*."

*Current timeframe for families beginning the process to adopt from China is approximately 3 years.