Almost Over (and not a minute too soon)

I promise, we look way more sane than we really are in this picture.

We had a hard day today...

It all started as we pulled up to JD's middle school this morning. I hear, "Uh mom, my horn isn't in the trunk" from outside the car. We drive back home at approximately the speed of light (yes, in a minivan) so he doesn't get points taken away in band. It's a miracle that I didn't get a ticket, although I still play the "I'm a retired cop" card any time I get pulled over. Next Kai, who has been accident free for 2 full days, poops in his pants at school. This is extraordinarily disappointing because I had bribed promised Kai that I would buy him a toy if he made it 3 full days without any accidents. Fast forward until 4 o'clock this afternoon when, trying to be a fun mom, I take the kids to a ridiculously overpriced ice cream shop for a treat. As we are sitting there enjoying our cones, JD asks, "What time is my football practice today?" Well crapola, I forgot the kid had practice (which started in exactly 30 minutes.) For the second time today, I drive home at lightening speed to have JD change clothes and jump back into the car. When we arrive at practice, JD asks me why we aren't at the football fields. I explain that since it's been raining for 2 straight weeks, the fields are too wet to play on and that his coach has reserved the school gym. "But mom, I'm wearing cleats!" Poor JD practices football for an entire hour and a half bare footed. Yes, I think it's quite obvious that I suck at parenting sometimes.

We pick JD up without any major mishaps but it is time to get everyone ready to go see David's band play at a local restaurant. JD is complaining that he hates Mexican food and Kai is crying because Ash put on the dress up clothes that he wanted to wear. I am ignoring everyone trying to find something that I look decent in. Without going in to detail - I have become fat and look disgusting in most all of my winter clothes. Needless to say, getting dressed was a depressing, and entirely too long event. We run out the door (late, I might add) to get to Dave's gig. Once we get there, all the tables are taken and we must wait in the lobby. If you have waited (alone) with 2 preschoolers lately, you probably understand that this is not a fun task. There's nothing to do and nowhere to go in a lobby. We did, however, survive. We finally got seated on the outdoor patio (where Dave is playing) and horror of all horrors, a man at the table next to us is smoking. To my children, smoking is kin to murder. They absolutely hate it and completely freak out if they are anywhere near a smoker. They are so paranoid they roll up the windows if we stop at a red light next to a car with a smoker inside. Oh joy. JD proceeds to sit through our entire meal with his shirt pulled up over his mouth. He looked like he was trying to avoid the plaque. Kai, on the other hand, wasn't bothered by the smoking but rather the noise. He put his hands over his ears until I explained that it might look rude to the band (and I might have threatened him too, but that's beside the point.) Piper kept laying her head on my shoulder and saying that she was dizzy. I told her the dizziness was due to her ear infection and that she would be fine. It was only 8 o'clock and I swear my kids looked like they hadn't slept in 6 days. After talking to David during his first break, we quickly paid the bill and hightailed it out of there. JD proclaimed that we were going to drive home in silence. The problem was that Ash and Kai didn't think that was such a great idea. They continued to yell at the top of their lungs jabber until JD lost it and stated that "Mom is going to give you a spanking if you say one more thing!" First of all, JD doesn't speak for me and second, Ash (aka Mr. Sensitive) did not appreciate JD's threat and began to wail. There goes our quiet, relaxing drive home.

It's 10 o'clock now and the little boys are asleep (Hallelujah.) JD and Piper are watching some completely inappropriate show about haunted houses, ghosts and paranormal events. I couldn't care less. I'm tired and no one is complaining, crying, or embarrassing me in public. Friday, October 16th - almost over (and not a minute too soon!)