I need help. I really do. I have a huge decision to make and everyone I seek counsel from believes their answer is the only acceptable one. You see, I must decide if I will continue working after Kai comes home. With my other two children this was such a simple decision. I would stay home for as long I could (before insanity set in) and then return to the workforce. What, you ask, is different this time? In one word, my job.
I used to work for a bank. You can leave a bank and return 6 months, 2 years, heck, even a decade later. Even if my old bank didn't have an opening, I felt sure that I could find a similar position somewhere. Now, I am a police officer. Not a fancy career to say the least, but I have worked hard to get where I am. I am one of those people who had a dream (silly as it was), and made it come true. It will be hard to give it up, but I can not leave my job for a year and then simply jump back into policing. My biggest hurdle is that my department will not hold my job for me. Of course, by law I get 12 weeks of FMLA leave. After that, I must come back to work. If I choose to stay home for a year, I would return to policing as a rookie in a new department. The thought of that makes me sick to my stomach! I've worked late nights, weekends and holidays and I hope to never do it again. My children are at an age that I absolutely have to be home in the evenings. With soccer, football, wrestling, gymnastics, ballet and jazz I don't think Dave could do it alone. He may think he's Superdad, but I know the dirty truth.
So what is a girl to do? I want to stay home with my baby. I think he will need me tremendously, especially during his first year home. It will be a huge transition for him. He has never known a family. Although we have done an enormous amount of research on toddler adoption, we have no way of knowing how severe Kai's post-institutional behaviors will be. Many, many children do very well once home. Others take more time and patience. Dave and I have decided that it is better to hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst.
To that end, I have answered my own question. I should stay home with my baby and to heck with my job. Jobs come and go, but my family is forever. Thanks for listening. This blogging thing does wonders for my clarity!
I used to work for a bank. You can leave a bank and return 6 months, 2 years, heck, even a decade later. Even if my old bank didn't have an opening, I felt sure that I could find a similar position somewhere. Now, I am a police officer. Not a fancy career to say the least, but I have worked hard to get where I am. I am one of those people who had a dream (silly as it was), and made it come true. It will be hard to give it up, but I can not leave my job for a year and then simply jump back into policing. My biggest hurdle is that my department will not hold my job for me. Of course, by law I get 12 weeks of FMLA leave. After that, I must come back to work. If I choose to stay home for a year, I would return to policing as a rookie in a new department. The thought of that makes me sick to my stomach! I've worked late nights, weekends and holidays and I hope to never do it again. My children are at an age that I absolutely have to be home in the evenings. With soccer, football, wrestling, gymnastics, ballet and jazz I don't think Dave could do it alone. He may think he's Superdad, but I know the dirty truth.
So what is a girl to do? I want to stay home with my baby. I think he will need me tremendously, especially during his first year home. It will be a huge transition for him. He has never known a family. Although we have done an enormous amount of research on toddler adoption, we have no way of knowing how severe Kai's post-institutional behaviors will be. Many, many children do very well once home. Others take more time and patience. Dave and I have decided that it is better to hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst.
To that end, I have answered my own question. I should stay home with my baby and to heck with my job. Jobs come and go, but my family is forever. Thanks for listening. This blogging thing does wonders for my clarity!
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